Once upon a time, there was a man...

Once upon a time there was a man.  He had a family who loved him and a loving wife who adored him.  He had spent his life always doing what he thought was the right thing.  He was honorable and acted with integrity.  The man always struggled with voices, not audible voices, but thoughts, both positive and negative that could influence his life and decisions.  Long and hard was the struggle to cling to the positive voices, the voices of hope, dreams and joy.

As he grew older, and after many years of hard work, some would call him a workaholic, who never seemed to give up.  After those many years, he became tired and burned out, for what he was doing did not bring him the joy it once did, because it was all based on money and how much he could earn.   When he came to realize, this is not what life is, and happiness is not an abundance of wealth, his view of his own life and that of his family had changed.

He remembered when he was a boy, the worlds he made with his imagination.  Dreams, that even though he worked endless hours he never forgot.  Soon he began to realize, what have I done with my life, what can I do to bring maybe a sparkle of joy, a glint of hope or even a shard of wonder to it and to others.  Thus he began to write, and write he did, about fantastic worlds that could only exist in dreams.

As time went by life changes occurred.  The job that he thought we would have for another 30 years ended abruptly.  It was a storm he saw coming, but the way he lived and the values he now held dear changed. The way he viewed his life and that of his beloved family changed as well.

In the moment of what seemed as failure, was to become a glimmer of hope.  Through the prompting and encouragement of his wife, he returned to school to learn new things, skills and tools that would help him build his worlds which he had for so long carried in his mind.  Gradually, a spark of enthusiasm and new life welled up inside of him as he began to see the images that had only once been in his mind or on a sheet of paper whether they be words or sketches, now come fully to life on a brazened screen of amplified light.

Never before had he reached this potential to build worlds, form civilizations and develop enduring characters, until now.  Dreams soon becoming reality.

As with every student the time of learning would pass, and the master would release his student into the world.  It was now up to this new and excited mind to begin developing those worlds and building them so that he could share them with others and bring hope and wonder to their lives.

He now faces new challenges, of what does the future hold.  Does he have enough faith to persevere against his own voices which taunt him and tell him he cannot do such things?  Or does he trust the kind whisper that says all things are possible for him who believes.  This man now stands at a crossroads.  There will be many challenges, challenges to the very dreams and visions he has had, things that may even threaten the very worlds he is building.  The question remains with him, what will he decide.  What voice will he choose to listen too.  For the sake of his loved ones and for the love of the people he may in time touch with wonder and joy, may he listen to that quiet whisper, "Never give up!"

The Next Step

So I graduated in May from Johnson County Community College with an Associates in Animation, Entertainment and Game Art.  Now that's a mouthful.

Looking for a job in any of those industries in the Kansas City area, is similar to trying to become an actor or singer.  You really have to work hard to stand out among the rest. In doing that, I will be remaking my entire demo reel.  In fact I might have to make more than one, with varying focus, one on 3D animation, another on gaming, and maybe another on 2D art.

In the meantime, unless a miracle is so gracious to befall me, I will have to return to engineering to support my family.  I hope for this to only be a temporary situation, and to eventually "break" into a more creative field.  At least I have already started a Game Company, and we are making our first game, but we have yet to turn a profit.

Even though I really dread going back to an occupation I dislike, I really need to remember that not very many people have been graced with the support and the chance to restart their lives.  Most people either don't even consider it, are content just to continue to do what they are doing or are really just worried about surviving each day.  I think most people never get the chance to sit back and analyze their life, to evaluate the life they have lived, asking the question "Am I joyful about what I am doing with my life?"

I have spent over 25 years in non-creative occupations.  In those years I provided for my family and I paid the bills.  But as for myself, I felt trapped and inevitably doomed to a career that was unimaginative and unfulfilled.  Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful wife and kids, but I need to be honest, I have always had this nagging restlessness to want to do something different, something creative and wonderful, a dream, a wish to publish a book, make a movie or to develop a game.  Passing that major milestone in May brought me closer to realizing those dreams.

So where I am now is the Next Step.  I have obtained a degree and training in what I really have a passion for.  The training I have received will allow me to develop art work for games, my novel series.  I can develop digital models, animations and videos centered around my interests, I also have developed my skills in texturing, animation and modeling, all things that will contribute positively to the goals I wish to achieve in my life.

One of my biggest fears in my life was that all the work I had completed on my novels, my worlds, would only be known by those closest to me, and they would never been seen or enjoyed by the wider public.  I know have the tools to make those dreams become a reality.  It has been a long 3 1/2 year, of hard work, of determination, of overcoming fears and worries.  That restlessness and passion has been sated just a bit more, and now I must prepare to go to the next level, to take that Next Step.